tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22591045125361698562024-02-07T06:17:23.301-05:00The Sound of One Hand ClappingI need another coffee.DFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06183227357167089253noreply@blogger.comBlogger218125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-25620308853433849352011-07-17T01:45:00.015-04:002011-07-17T12:58:46.522-04:00Paul McCartney at Yankee Stadium; Setlist and Video for 7/16/11So I haven't posted in approximately forever, but you'll get over it. As I sometimes do, I am throwing up the setlist for another concert before I go to bed. Tonight's show was fantastic and I may blog about it later, but for now, here's what was played:<br /><br /><a href="http://cbswjmk.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/paul-mccartney_on-the-run_385.jpg?w=385&h=240" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 385px; height: 240px;" src="http://cbswjmk.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/paul-mccartney_on-the-run_385.jpg?w=385&h=240" alt="" border="0" /></a>PAUL McCARTNEY<br />YANKEE STADIUM, NEW YORK CITY<br />JULY 16, 2011<br /><br />SET:<br />Magical Mystery Tour<br />Jet<br />All My Loving<br />Junior's Farm<br />Drive My Car<br />Sing The Changes<br />The Night Before<br />Let Me Roll It <span class="Apple-style-span"><i>(</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">w/"Foxey Lady" coda, written by Jimi Hendrix)</span></span><br />Paperback Writer<br />The Long and Winding Road<br />1985<br />Let 'Em In<br />Maybe I'm Amazed<br />I'm Looking Through You<br />I Will<br />Blackbird<br />Here Today<br />Dance Tonight<br />Mrs. Vanderbilt<br />Eleanor Rigby<br />Something<span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span><span style="font-style: italic; ">(written by George Harrison)</span></span></span><br />Band On The Run<br />Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da<br />Back in the U.S.S.R.<br />I've Got A Feeling<br />A Day In The Life w/Give Peace a Chance<br />Let It Be<br />Live and Let Die<br />Hey Jude<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Encore I:</span><br />Lady Madonna<br />I Saw Her Standing There (<span style="font-style: italic;">featuring Billy Joel</span>)<br />Get Back<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Encore II:</span><br />Yesterday<br />Helter Skelter<br />Golden Slumbers<br />Carry That Weight<br />The End<div><br /></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span">All songs composed by John Lennon & Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney, or Paul & Linda McCartney, except "Sing the Changes" (McCartney/Youth), "Give Peace a Chance" (John Lennon), and where noted.</span></i><br /><div><br /></div>These aren't my seats (I wish) but here's some HD video:<br /><iframe width="400" height="249" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3QR3O_tujus?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>Video shared by YouTube user <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/BillyJoelVideos">BillyJoelVideos</a>.</i></span></div></div>DFhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06183227357167089253noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-72570017844186886112011-04-19T11:11:00.001-04:002011-04-19T11:11:46.519-04:00...But Instead, We Get SkinsEveryone loves Twitter (except me, I suppose). Everyone loves music videos. Everyone loves trivia. If all of this is true, then why hasn't Pop-Up Video made a comeback yet?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-us5SVM54mI0/Ta2ltoW17PI/AAAAAAAAAtc/h982ikd3Op0/s1600/1996.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="203" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-us5SVM54mI0/Ta2ltoW17PI/AAAAAAAAAtc/h982ikd3Op0/s320/1996.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Where are you?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-4430598877581219462011-03-14T20:21:00.007-04:002011-03-14T20:40:45.583-04:00An Open Letter to the Dude Sitting in Front of Me at the CafeDude! Wake up!! Ahhh. You're bombing so hard. If this is a first date, you're on strike #7 (note: not the "bowling" kind). I want to boo you. She's gorgeous. Stop talking so much about yourself. Ask her about her!<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-dbAPGodDgZ8/TX60hxccDII/AAAAAAAAAtY/mPV5LoJxKEg/s1600/photo+unrelated.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-dbAPGodDgZ8/TX60hxccDII/AAAAAAAAAtY/mPV5LoJxKEg/s200/photo+unrelated.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo unrelated.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>What does she like doing? How was her day? What is her family doing now? How<i> is</i> Uncle Herbert, that crazy guy? If she could quit her job right now and run off somewhere, where would she go and what would she do? If she could be a breakfast cereal, what breakfast cereal would she be (and why)? Ask her about her favorite train. Comment on the people outside the window and ask her where she thinks they are headed in such a hurry. Ask her about her "Welcome to New York" moment. She's got Amanda Seyfried eyes and all you can talk about is your dopey friend's last semester? Gah.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-lxQe44Mzrn4/TX6y49jO7MI/AAAAAAAAAtU/OFHWmjuCm7A/s1600/Frustrated_Emoticon_by_pokeyourheadoff.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-lxQe44Mzrn4/TX6y49jO7MI/AAAAAAAAAtU/OFHWmjuCm7A/s1600/Frustrated_Emoticon_by_pokeyourheadoff.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ack!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>If this were a LiveJournal, my song of the day would be<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> <b><span style="color: #45818e;">"You're Gonna Lose That Girl"</span></b> </span>and my current mood would be<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> <b><span style="color: #45818e;">"wicked frustrated"</span></b></span>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-4169099442573181202011-03-10T20:01:00.001-05:002011-03-10T20:01:39.217-05:00Ending Sentences With Prepositions is Seriously Uncalled ForReally, what's that about? It's a hard habit to get out of. Even worse: sometimes you meet someone who is finely attuned to this grammatical conversational error and--in case you couldn't guess--they are very difficult people to have a conversation with.<br />
<br />
And don't even get me started when it comes to sentences that begin with conjunctions.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-9719677933830910452011-03-09T21:47:00.007-05:002011-03-10T20:06:07.846-05:00An Ode to the Abandoned Tuxedo Pants I Found on the Sidewalk Today<i>Upon the occasion of discovering a pair of black tuxedo pants lying on the side of the road:</i> <br />
<br />
O Tuxedo Pants, quickly cast astrewn<br />
Why hath thy master forsaken ye here?<br />
A leg on the sidewalk, th'other the street--<br />
Languished luxury lying listlessly.<br />
A grievous offense could'st I not conceive<br />
As fair cause for thy careless discarding<br />
(If indeed such a sin slacks could commit).<br />
Didst thou meet the pavement from an ill fit--<br />
Too few or too many doughnuts consumed?<br />
Didst thy get the toss in (dare I speak it)<br />
A frightful and furious fit of lust?<br />
Encounter with a lady of the night?<br />
Sudden necessity to disrobe quick?<br />
Swelt'ring heat promoting thy removal?<br />
Truly? Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground.<br />
Forgotten adjustable-waist trousers,<br />
Smold'ring in the heat of the sunlit day,<br />
Embrace thy strange rest; thou shalt strut no more--<br />
'Less a de-pantsed gentlemen find thee here,<br />
Praise his fortuitous turn, and get dressed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-39108233216011278532011-03-09T21:14:00.001-05:002011-03-09T21:15:17.564-05:00Plants and Birds and Rocks and ThingsOne of my aunt's favorite stories comes from driving around with me in the front seat listening to the radio. I was much younger then--probably about seven. America's song "A Horse With No Name" was on the radio and we were talking about the lyrics. After hearing the chorus, I asked her (with the utmost sincerity) why they didn't just give the horse a name. She laughed and repeated the story to the rest of our family, who found my query equally comical. The thing is, she still thinks that this is really, really funny for some reason. Meanwhile, I'm still don't see why what I said was humorous, and I still don't understand why they didn't just give the horse a name and be done with it already.<br />
<br />
What am I missing here?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-65220000260331176892011-03-05T16:54:00.006-05:002011-03-05T17:00:12.659-05:00Adventures in Education, Chapter 21<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-uxpVu0EA3-E/TXKxPnZY9MI/AAAAAAAAAsk/B_zbLo5_o-c/s1600/chalkboard.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-uxpVu0EA3-E/TXKxPnZY9MI/AAAAAAAAAsk/B_zbLo5_o-c/s200/chalkboard.png" width="200" /></a>First week on the job<br />
Gr.6 tutor/substitute teacher<br />
<br />
<b>What I've attempted to teach:</b><br />
Compare and Contrast <br />
Author's purpose<br />
Place values<br />
Factoring<br />
Potential and Kinectic Energy<br />
Commutative and Associative Properties<br />
Separating fact from opinion<br />
Theme<br />
Tone<br />
<br />
<b>What I've been asked to clarify:</b><br />
What happened to your lip?<br />
What's a cleft lip?<br />
Did it hurt?<br />
Does it hurt now?<br />
How many surgeries did you have?<br />
Do you remember?<br />
Wait, can you grow a mustache?<br />
Would<i> that</i> hurt? <br />
Do people ask you about it a lot?<br />
Oh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-34398591895151368282011-03-05T16:25:00.009-05:002011-03-05T17:04:11.300-05:00Open Notes to Persons in and around a Park Slope Coffee Shop<i>Preface: This is the third installment in my <a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/search/label/Open%20Notes%20Series">Open Notes series</a>, where I talk to people around me but on my blog because I lack the guts/interest/pickup lines necessary to actually converse with other people.</i><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-lglGGYjw4qg/TXKdN_UVd_I/AAAAAAAAAr8/6H4eLJ4uvjQ/s1600/Park_Slope_Rooftops_2003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-lglGGYjw4qg/TXKdN_UVd_I/AAAAAAAAAr8/6H4eLJ4uvjQ/s400/Park_Slope_Rooftops_2003.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"<b>Art of Unknown Origin Stolen for Blog</b>"; <i>Anonymous, Oil on Canvas, 1997</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>This evening, after a particularly erratic day of substitute teaching in Manhattan, I returned to lovely Brooklyn and strolled over to a distinctive coffee joint in the quaint yet eminently mockable neighborhood of Park Slope. People here are known for being liberal, wealthy(ish), and trendy, and most residents struggle to hide their often overwhelming whiteness. My neighborhood is no slouch, but this part of town is most certainly out of my price bracket. Thus, while it may be a perfectly pleasant place to reside, it's easier and more self-assuring to ruthlessly rend it asunder with smug keystrokes while chuckling about how intellectually superior and more worldly I am.<br />
<br />
<b>To my roommate: </b>Spot me a few bucks? Cool.<b> </b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-953s-hu13dU/TXKeopSlFAI/AAAAAAAAAsA/tIKzou9Btqo/s1600/trendy+hat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-953s-hu13dU/TXKeopSlFAI/AAAAAAAAAsA/tIKzou9Btqo/s200/trendy+hat.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>To the chipper barista girl:</b> You're adorable, but I really do think that your hat falls under the "trying too hard" category. It probably looked stylish on the wooden rack at the second-hand store next to the other second-hand store where that better second-hand store used to be, but you don't need a hat indoors. However, I have a long history of falling for waitresses and female bar staff, so I'm going to let it slide.<br />
<br />
<b>To Customer #7:</b> Whoever told you that beard looked good was lying through their java-stained teeth. When you trim the edges every morning for that perfectly symmetrical look, do you use a ruler? A protractor, maybe? Also, this morning routine must give you ample time to consider your beard at length. Apparently, you still think it's worth it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6qt4tDl7Ki8/TXKfGzOjQ3I/AAAAAAAAAsE/0gGtbBOzaHM/s1600/free_wifi_available.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6qt4tDl7Ki8/TXKfGzOjQ3I/AAAAAAAAAsE/0gGtbBOzaHM/s200/free_wifi_available.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>To the freeloading suit who walked in, sat down, went to work on his laptop, and didn't buy anything: </b> Don't worry about it. Wi-fi should be free. Hey, I'm sure you voted for universal public health care, too. <br />
<br />
<b>To literally four other customers who have entered since I started:</b> Please explain to me the appeal of offbeat hats and poor facial hair decisions. Please. I'm so lost.<br />
<br />
<b>To Customer #15: </b> You are cute. Please look at me again now that I'm sitting up straight.<br />
<br />
<b>To Customer #15's boyfriend:</b> I will fight you right in the face.<br />
<br />
<b>To Rota Fortunae:</b> Why do girls go out with clowns like him? What is it? I see more girls hanging off the shoulder of slouchy, half-awake, vacant looking dudes who kind of just stand there consuming oxygen. What are you contributing to the relationship, guy? You look like the kind of person who hopes McDonald's makes home deliveries. It's very perplexing.<br />
<br />
<b>To Wikipedia: </b> Whoa. "<i>Rota Fortunae</i>"? Thanks, Wikipedia! I sound so cultured and smart. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-GqOR6DRz8bI/TXKh8oDrqII/AAAAAAAAAsU/xgx8XJ44F7k/s1600/Shut_Up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-GqOR6DRz8bI/TXKh8oDrqII/AAAAAAAAAsU/xgx8XJ44F7k/s200/Shut_Up.jpg" width="120" /></a></div><b>To the insufferable mouthpiece behind me:</b> Keep talking. I find it fascinating that you could "know" so much about so many things and yet state everything in the simplest terms possible. Call me crazy, but does it occur to you that most political issues and social science-related events are just a little bit more on the <i>complex </i>side? Listening to you explain it all--with scoffs to spare--is nauseating. The groans! The sighs! If eye rolling made a sound, I'm pretty sure that I just heard it. Were you planning on giving a chance to either of the ladies accompanying you? They may want to speak at some point. I <i>know</i> that you think that you're intelligent and sophisticated and miles ahead of the other lemmings you are forced to associate with, but there's a reason that some individuals become famous talk show hosts or essay writers while others sit in coffee shops pontificating. You suck.<br />
<br />
<b>To the girl blogging two tables away:</b> I have no idea what you're writing about, but I will preemptively propose a truce.<br />
<br />
<b>To whoever wrote <a href="http://www.dailyslope.com/2007/03/12/how-to-piss-off-a-park-slope-resident/">this "How to Piss Off a Park Slope Resident"</a> viral blog post: </b> Good show!<br />
<br />
<b>To the bro who almost walked in with his acoustic guitar:</b> No! Get out!! NO ONE LIKES YOU!! WHATEVER ARTIST YOU ASPIRE TO BE LIKE SUCKS, TOO! Sorry about the caps. Typed too hard again.<br />
<br />
<b>To management:</b> Please play something other than Adele. It's been like an hour and forty five minutes. C'mon.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Lr_22z5buls/TXKo_N4nkzI/AAAAAAAAAsc/hmHKfo7b4HE/s1600/step1-overview-macbookpro-overview-wide-022411.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="65" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Lr_22z5buls/TXKo_N4nkzI/AAAAAAAAAsc/hmHKfo7b4HE/s200/step1-overview-macbookpro-overview-wide-022411.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>To the Mac user next to me: </b> You have literally nine applications running and you're flipping through them seamlessly; meanwhile, I attempted to open iTunes and my laptop reacted like I jammed a butter knife into the USB port. This is stupid. PCs are stupid. Any computer I ever buy is stupid.<br />
<br />
<b>To my snarkier readers:</b> Not stupid by association. Just stupid.<br />
<br />
<b>To the lower-middle-class, blue-collar local making a modest wage who came in and ordered a... </b>nah, just kidding. He's not allowed to live here.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-gCgQkZyq0zY/TXKqFcbPlyI/AAAAAAAAAsg/kp5eheuyVcQ/s1600/iced_coffee_beans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-gCgQkZyq0zY/TXKqFcbPlyI/AAAAAAAAAsg/kp5eheuyVcQ/s200/iced_coffee_beans.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>To the cafe business at large: </b> Why is decaf iced coffee impossible to find? No one has it and I don't understand that. If I wanted a decaf hot coffee, I would have made it at home. Decaf iced coffee isn't even hard to stock--just double brew a pot and refrigerate it. It stays good for days! There's no excuse, service industry. Step it up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-85928646779246165102011-02-11T13:36:00.002-05:002011-03-08T11:20:27.716-05:00Hey, How About A Real Post Already?No.<br />
<br />
Continuing a theme of posting other people's stuff, this was my pick for most underrated Super Bowl commercial. The attention to detail (which shows took place where, and which characters would root for them) is phenomenal, and whoever worked on the CGI deserves a raise. For most of the clips, you can't even tell that the apparel was added in (except I believe the Seinfeld and Newman scene actually happened).<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="255" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hIrrOKxVXKs?hd=1" title="YouTube video player" width="400"></iframe><br />
<br />
Very well done. However, the NFL will still be the No Fun League until creative touchdown celebrations like Maurice Jones-Drew's "<a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3061625">ATM Withdrawal</a>" and Wes Welker's "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOJPMYmTyQk">Snow Angel</a>" aren't fined anymore. The decision to fine a player should be determined by a one man panel of Shannon Sharpe, and should be strictly based on whether or not the celebration was funny. I feel strongly about this.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-9902104990652048772011-02-10T19:54:00.000-05:002011-02-10T19:54:23.256-05:00At Least It Wasn't "Ebony and Ivory"...I don't watch the show, but I'm stunned that "Glee" could take "Silly Love Songs" to the top of the charts in 2011. What a strange world we live in.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-4502316935550358152011-02-04T13:46:00.000-05:002011-02-04T13:46:11.212-05:00The Awkward Strikes Back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TUxJCmuRFoI/AAAAAAAAAr4/veuvJUNjSVA/s1600/awkward_movies.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TUxJCmuRFoI/AAAAAAAAAr4/veuvJUNjSVA/s400/awkward_movies.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Source: <a href="http://theoatmeal.com/">The Oatmeal</a>, who or which has a <a href="http://theoatmeal.com/book">book</a> out soon.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-59128644720459805882011-02-01T20:47:00.004-05:002011-02-01T20:50:16.590-05:00Mystery Number<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TUi218jYURI/AAAAAAAAArw/9pTTqN-vMdg/s1600/questionmark.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TUi218jYURI/AAAAAAAAArw/9pTTqN-vMdg/s1600/questionmark.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Better question: Why post this </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Not that I'm proud to admit it, but last Saturday night is a little fuzzy. Perhaps<a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2011/01/short-hits-for-best-night-ever.html"> blogging about how lame I was for the 200th time</a> led me to overdo it, but whatever the cause... let's just say there's some haze.<br />
<br />
At any rate, there is a mystery number in my phone, and I don't know who it belongs to or what I would say if I called it. The area code is from New Jersey. I suppose I could call it and ask them to spell their name out for my contacts list, but then if her name is Mary Smith, I will feel stupid. Then again, I feel stupid anyway. Also, she might not have met the real me. Also, she might be a dude.<br />
<br />
I need a plan. What if she's the one?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-7127468291055391762011-01-24T18:34:00.004-05:002011-01-24T18:44:17.230-05:00Shameless Joke TheftEmmy Rossum (from Showtime's <i>Shameless</i>) tells a joke for Esquire magazine. At the end, she slips in another one real fast, but it's one I feel like I've heard before. <a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/08/adventures-in-education-chapter-19.html">Somewhere</a>.<br />
<br />
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I have attractive readers! Souped.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-75563733849316351752011-01-22T00:30:00.005-05:002011-03-05T16:41:36.047-05:00Short Hits for The BEST NIGHT EVER<div style="text-align: left;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TTpu2MyoWcI/AAAAAAAAArk/rHo8HbTRRkM/s1600/big_night_out_lead_203152.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TTpu2MyoWcI/AAAAAAAAArk/rHo8HbTRRkM/s1600/big_night_out_lead_203152.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Woo!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Generally speaking, I only use all caps when I'm being sarcastic. Or if I type really hard.</div><br />
In this case, it's sarcasm because I live in a tourist destination and I'm staying in watching late night standup on Comedy Central. No, see all of my friends are busy. Really. REALLY! Sorry, typed too hard.<br />
<br />
This seemed like an appropriate time to fire off a post. The following items could probably be full entries but I don't have the attention span to flesh them out. Here we go.<br />
<br />
- Last week I was looking up peer-reviewed research articles in the library (why, yes, ladies... I <i>am</i> single, how did you...?) and typed in the terms "student teaching" and "classroom discourse" for my project. I click on the most promising article, and the first two categories for this article are, I kid you not, 1) "student teaching", and 2) "social isolation". Yup. Sounds about right.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.reocities.com/malaysiancollectibles/canrootbeermug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.reocities.com/malaysiancollectibles/canrootbeermug.jpg" width="106" /></a></div>- Just ran to the bodega to buy some root beer (it's how I roll) and paid in spare change (mostly dimes) and realized (not for the first time) that (in addition to using parentheses) I love paying in change. It really does feel like you got your stuff for free.<br />
<br />
- To be a student teacher in NYC, you have to schlep on over to Downtown Brooklyn and get fingerprinted. This is so they can weed out the weirdo candidates that are criminals or bad finger-painters or lack hands. After the privilege of having your fingers sqashed onto a scanner, one by one, you then get slammed with a $115 fee. Yes, a buck fifteen, but sadly not a buck fifteen. $115. Yet, if I had committed some dumb crime like, say, jaywalking with intent to launder, I would get fingerprinted for free. Not okay, New York. Not okay.<br />
<br />
- Apropos of nothing, the comedian in the 11:00 timeslot (wow, it's that late already) tried to make a joke about how Mexican girls are always pregnant, and the crowd shut him down. Really. Audible boos and groans. Then he makes a joke about how the audience wants to play "The Real World is Not Real" game, and adds a few more dime-a-dozen stereotypes, and still they don't take the bait with a sympathy laugh. It was almost inspiring, but then he told a joke about midgets and the audience ate it up. So much for that.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://vlane.com/img/chrome/4273.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="100" src="http://vlane.com/img/chrome/4273.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My whip.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>- Next comedian made fun of a Honda Civic. Maybe he was making fun of himself for not being able to afford one? I don't get it. I really like my first car.<br />
<br />
- There might be worse feelings than checking your phone on a Friday night and seeing no texts and no missed calls, but I'm not sure what those feelings are.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TT4LRkclxfI/AAAAAAAAAro/9IfwmhbtjR4/s1600/apple-ipod-bob-dylan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TT4LRkclxfI/AAAAAAAAAro/9IfwmhbtjR4/s200/apple-ipod-bob-dylan.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Check out this Dylan guy. Real up and comer.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>- I enjoy having very specific music tastes and distastes. For example, I'm generally pretty ambivalent about classical music, but I really, really like Tchaikovsky, and I really don't like Vivaldi at all. A jazz example: Totally dig hard bop but I can't get into fusion. I like early Chicago, mid-period Steely Dan, Motown around 1965, and one Pink Floyd song (ten points if you guess which one). Especially unique--I like Bob Dylan's latest stuff way, way better than his famous stuff (except "Just Like A Woman"--which is awesome).<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/0/q/p/W/no-strings-natalie-portman-natalie-portman-photo3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/0/q/p/W/no-strings-natalie-portman-natalie-portman-photo3.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Sorry that my carrots are limp."</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>- There have been so many previews for "No Strings Attached" that I feel like I've seen 30-40 minutes of the film. It's this year's "Dinner for Schmucks" or "Due Date" in that it is so overexposed already, there can't be anything left in the film worth seeing. Not that I was going to see it anyway. This is too bad, because I find Ludacris to be a legitimately funny actor. Or at least a funny dude.<br />
<br />
- Great joke that's worth repeating:<br />
Q: What happens when you play a country song backwards?<br />
A: He gets his dog back, his truck back, and his girl back.<br />
<br />
Wow, I just live-blogged a night on the couch. So proud. Goodnight, more popular people.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-25360656501230777382011-01-09T22:10:00.005-05:002011-01-09T22:18:29.243-05:00An Open Letter to the Middle-Aged, Paunchy Dude Sitting Across from Me at the Library<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens2130398module11049258photo_1219166853cough_red.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" n4="true" src="http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens2130398module11049258photo_1219166853cough_red.jpg" width="160" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Come on, man. Even</em><br />
<em>kids know this stuff.</em></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Thanks for your ongoing effort to cough all over the keyboard. Don't cover your mouth or anything. I think I'm literally nauseous.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Just know that if I didn't take Vitamin C every day, drink a ridiculous amount of orange juice, and have a public-school-tested immune system, I'd probably throw a can of Lysol at your head. Bathe thyself, inconsiderate germ distributor, and begone with thee already.</div> <br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-12628641369078603652010-12-30T22:18:00.011-05:002011-01-07T13:25:24.328-05:00Never Let You GoWhen I was your age, kids, the radio played stuff that was worth listening to. It was actually a regular part of my day and I heard a lot of it between 4:00 and 7:00 during my first wave of homework. There were actual bands and they got actual airtime. Some of this music could even be described as rock or alternative. This is shocking, I know, and I'm showing my age.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.musicfanclubs.org/matchbox20/Images/mb3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="http://www.musicfanclubs.org/matchbox20/Images/mb3.jpg" width="200" /></a>Around the year 2000, there was one station in the Boston market that did a phenomenal job of playing these bands. Tune into Mix 98.5 (WBMX) and you could hear (with some regularity) the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barenaked_Ladies">Barenaked Ladies</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertical_Horizon">Vertical Horizon</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_eye_blind">Third Eye Blind</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sister_Hazel">Sister Hazel</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sister_Hazel">Matchbox Twenty</a>.<br />
<br />
Though the suits in the biz would clinically describe this music as "Modern Rock" and eventually "Modern Adult Contemporary", these bands were rock bands. Sure, songs like "If You're Gone" and the Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris" would end up becoming shopping mall music staples--loved by moms everywhere--but the vast majority of singles and radio hits from these bands were enjoyable and made life a whole lot better in middle school.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1IgGUJQRI/AAAAAAAAArU/R5D0iI1YfLQ/s1600/BNL-54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1IgGUJQRI/AAAAAAAAArU/R5D0iI1YfLQ/s200/BNL-54.jpg" width="200" /></a>Then something terrible happened. Suddenly, radio stations were all up and changing their formats and crap (because, really, who listens to the radio anymore?) and Top 40 was everywhere. The niche for a station that played rock songs with thoughtful lyrics and jangly guitars evaporated. Mix 98.5 went with this wave and a small part of me was lost on the day the music died (I believe the exact moment was the day that they played Madonna's "American Pie").<br />
<br />
I decided, ten years on, to make a mix CD compiling my favorite songs from back in the day (8th grade, 9th grade, and 10th grade), and my track list is contained here. I bypassed the obvious title choice ("The Mix Mix") as well as more accurate ones ("Buzz Ballads 3") for the blandest one imaginable ("The Mix 98.5 Throwback CD").<br />
<br />
Behold:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1F2WlhsXI/AAAAAAAAArM/sLnTHgvM1bY/s1600/the+mix+mix+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="396" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1F2WlhsXI/AAAAAAAAArM/sLnTHgvM1bY/s400/the+mix+mix+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: right;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon</b></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Slide - The Goo Goo Dolls</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>She's So High - Tal Bachman</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Last Beautiful Girl - Matchbox Twenty</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Change Your Mind - Sister Hazel</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - Nine Days</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>You're a God - Vertical Horizon</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Bent - Matchbox Twenty</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Broadway - The Goo Goo Dolls</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>If I Had $1,000,000 (live) - Barenaked Ladies</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Desert Rose - Sting</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Sweetest Thing - U2</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Drive - Incubus</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Hanging by a Moment - Lifehouse</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Save Me From Myself - Vertical Horizon</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Ghost in the Crowd - Sister Hazel</b></div><br />
NOTES:<br />
- I had been mulling over this CD for some time, and repeatedly told my friend (a fellow listener and fan from back in the day) that I was about to make one. We listened to this on the way into Boston last night and it was fantastic to hear these tracks again. These songs were there and played loudly when I was finding myself, falling for the girl, getting over the girl, and discovering singing and writing. They mean a lot to me.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1Ifn8A1FI/AAAAAAAAArQ/21uxvieDtoY/s1600/4172C2EY6ML._SL500_AA240_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1Ifn8A1FI/AAAAAAAAArQ/21uxvieDtoY/s200/4172C2EY6ML._SL500_AA240_.jpg" width="200" /></a>- This is not a comprehensive cover of this period in music, but rather a conscious effort to compile my favorite songs from then (minus the extra slow or sad ones--"Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)" for example). I didn't listen to Radiohead or the Foo Fighters then so they aren't there. Also, after this phase, I more or less stopped listening to the radio and got a little <i>too</i> into classic rock.<br />
<br />
- Considering that most of the tracks here have a "pop" vibe, I was surprised to recall the quality of the lyrics. It was especially interesting to hear VH's "<i>I've been unable to put you down/I'm still learning things I oughta know by now</i>" and realize that, a decade later, I still feel that way.<br />
<br />
- As a tenth grader, I was certain that if you sang "Slide" to any one girl, she'd have to fall in love with you and be yours forever. "<i>Put your arms around me/What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful</i>". I'm still about 45% sure that this would work.<br />
<br />
- "Never Let You Go" has appeared on pretty much every other mix CD I've ever made, and I can play a serviceable version on guitar at college parties when people have been drinking. It's a dark horse for "Favorite Song from the Last 12 or 13 Years" (a category I just made up now).<br />
<br />
- Except it might actually be "Falling For the First Time" from the Barenaked Ladies, which I cannot believe was left off. Other notable omissions include "Semi-Charmed Life" (overexposure), "Mad Season" (forgot), "Kryptonite" (also forgot), and "All For You" (reminds me of my college a cappella group). I think I would swap out "Desert Rose" and "Sweetest Thing" for "Kryptonite" and "Mad Season" because they better fit the vibe. <br />
<br />
- I still love Matchbox Twenty. Those songs hold up.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1Ig94FgzI/AAAAAAAAArc/HLEsJsc81zo/s1600/Vertical-Horizon-Everything-You-Wa-160013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1Ig94FgzI/AAAAAAAAArc/HLEsJsc81zo/s200/Vertical-Horizon-Everything-You-Wa-160013.jpg" width="200" /></a>- The last two songs actually came out in 2009, and to my knowledge, have not been played on WBMX (which was coined to be the <b>B</b>lack <b>M</b>usic E<b>X</b>perience according to Wikipedia--surprise racism!). I included these songs because both of those bands are still making great music, even if radio isn't listening.<br />
<br />
- Also in the Where Are They Now category, Matchbox Twenty put out six new songs on 2007's retrospective <i>Exile on Mainstream</i> and they are pleasantly excellent. I haven't heard BNL's latest album so I can't vouch for it, but Third Eye Blind still enjoys strong, sustained support from Providence, RI, among other places. It goes without saying that Sting, U2, and DMB are still active. <br />
<br />
- I have no idea where Tal Bachman is, but I'm guessing his one hit got him the girl. It had to. She couldn't walk away from that.<br />
<br />
- I like a lot of The Goo Goo Dolls' mainstream grab <i>Dizzy Up The Girl</i>, but hardly anything else they've done before or since. I think this is strange and alarmingly conformist of me. Also, for the record, "Slide" blows "Iris" right out of the water. <br />
<br />
- Vertical Horizon's Matthew Scannell is a fantastic and underrated songwriter.<br />
<br />
- "Change Your Mind" is definitely a song I need to hear more often. Noted.<br />
<br />
- Don't do a Google Image search for "Barenaked Ladies Pinch Me" if the filter isn't turned on. Nothing good coming from that. Lesson learned.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1KeANLRnI/AAAAAAAAArg/8z1z20zu-fs/s1600/417FR5XJABL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TR1KeANLRnI/AAAAAAAAArg/8z1z20zu-fs/s200/417FR5XJABL.jpg" width="200" /></a>I wish these bands got the airplay now that they did then, because there is something unifying about liking music that other people like, too. Until then, I will refuse to listen to the "new" Mix 104.1 and work on "The Mix Mix Strikes Back" (or "Buzz Ballads 4"). Or maybe I'll just buy "NOW 2".<br />
<br />
PS - If Nick Hornby and Stephen Chbosky co-wrote an article about music, it would sound exactly like this one. If you understood that, color me impressed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-42101057295735686772010-12-28T22:02:00.014-05:002011-02-11T13:44:33.670-05:00#10 on the Top 10 Top 10 Lists of '10<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TRqouzJ1cGI/AAAAAAAAArI/SRtZ1QXOqgk/s1600/2010.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TRqouzJ1cGI/AAAAAAAAArI/SRtZ1QXOqgk/s200/2010.png" width="163" /></a></div>The approach of New Year's Eve caters to two very distinct American values: 1) the promise of erasing (another) unfulfilling year with copious amounts of alcohol, and 2) the ability to relive condensed highlights of the past year in easy-to-manage list format. The first value needs no elaboration, especially since you're a nursing major. What's that, you say? You're not a nursing major? Well you're <i>nursing that beer</i>, so let's go already! Take off the skirt and man up, Grandma.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.97thfloor.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/top_ten__waynes_world_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://www.97thfloor.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/top_ten__waynes_world_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The second point is fascinating because many people today love to reminisce about things that just happened. Clicking through another best of list from People Magazine or the like (usually titled, "Top 10 Celebrity Rebound Dates" or something) offers many opportunities for what I call the "Oh, yeah, remember that?" crowd. Of course we remember that. It was October. Keep in mind, though, we were the generation who demanded <i>I Love the 00's</i> from VH1, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Love_the_New_Millennium">got it</a>.<br />
<br />
In the spirit of our short attention spans, another year-end Top 10 list!<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #073763;"><b><u>TEN BEST BLOG ENTRIES (<i>blentries?</i>) OF 2010</u></b></div><ol><li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/02/dude-thats-nuts.html">Dude, That's Nuts</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/03/moving-forward-rapidly.html">Moving Forward. Rapidly.</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/03/open-notes-to-springtime-revelers-in.html">Open Notes to the Springtime Revelers in the Park</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/03/call-to-bullpen.html">A Call to the Bullpen</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/04/very-recentist-list-of-one-english-ed.html">A Very Recentist List of One English Ed Grad Student's Fears </a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/06/open-letter-to-cash-only-bodegas.html">An Open Letter to Cash-Only Bodegas</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/07/cant-miss-business-venture-for-any.html">A Can't-Miss Business Venture for All You Capitalists Out There with Flexible Morals</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/08/adventures-in-education-chapter-17.html">Adventures in Education, Chapter 17</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/08/adventures-in-education-chapter-19.html">Adventures in Education, Chapter 19</a></li>
<li><a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/08/adventures-in-education-chapter-20.html">Adventures in Education, Chapter 20</a> </li>
</ol>Yup, I haven't written anything good since August. Lists don't lie, you know. Even this entry is shooting 1 over par. Here's to 2011, only the 24th time I have wished for a better year than the last. Hey, this is like... 43 words in a row already! The internerds are getting restless! Better throw in another picture!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TURgYfjXlMI/AAAAAAAAArs/nO8uJQXuLG8/s1600/candice-swanepoel-dot-net_vs-sleepwear-0053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TURgYfjXlMI/AAAAAAAAArs/nO8uJQXuLG8/s400/candice-swanepoel-dot-net_vs-sleepwear-0053.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your mind may be in the gutter, but Candice is thinking about my blog and hoping for the long rumored "Open Notes to People in the Greenwich Village Bar" entry.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.recessionwire.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/lampshade-on-head-office-party-business-clothes-200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.recessionwire.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/lampshade-on-head-office-party-business-clothes-200.jpg" /></a></div>Happy New Year to most of you. For those who need it, here's<a href="http://bostonherald.com/entertainment/food_dining/food/view.bg?articleid=1305730"> a handy reference article for hangover cures</a>. Note that the author digs deep for mind-blowing insight like "don't overdrink". Also, I don't know for certain what a "drinking expert" is, exactly, but I'd be willing to bet that I know many and we party often. Best of luck to y'all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-5913101159333760182010-12-14T20:15:00.001-05:002010-12-14T20:15:46.330-05:00Facebook According to DF, Part 6<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/SarLhOJgUYI/AAAAAAAAAJc/bvi6_ToSj_o/s1600/facebook-event.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/SarLhOJgUYI/AAAAAAAAAJc/bvi6_ToSj_o/s1600/facebook-event.jpg" /></a></div>Dear Facebook,<br />
<br />
The first step in fixing any problem is identifying the problem. "Something" is not a specific problem. If you do not know what went wrong, you cannot be fixing it. Every time you display the following message, it just confirms that you don't care.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TQgWMGfoHnI/AAAAAAAAArA/iBnBnWkvqxo/s1600/fbook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="122" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TQgWMGfoHnI/AAAAAAAAArA/iBnBnWkvqxo/s400/fbook.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I appreciate that my choices here are "Okay" and... guess I'm okay with it, then.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-69510483724152080372010-12-14T20:09:00.000-05:002010-12-14T20:09:54.931-05:00Poking Around<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/SarLhOJgUYI/AAAAAAAAAJc/bvi6_ToSj_o/s1600/facebook-event.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/SarLhOJgUYI/AAAAAAAAAJc/bvi6_ToSj_o/s1600/facebook-event.jpg" /></a></div>I would like to thank Facebook, weight and measure of all things social and network, for confirming that I poked my friend Steve yesterday. Even after asking if I was sure that I wanted to poke Steve. While others rail on about profile page layouts and friendship pages, I find that it's still the simplest things that really, truly creep me out. Thanks, Facebook.<br />
<br />
On an unrelated note, this is blog post #200. Pow.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TQgVEHB5ruI/AAAAAAAAAq8/43HNusW2euQ/s1600/200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TQgVEHB5ruI/AAAAAAAAAq8/43HNusW2euQ/s400/200.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I spent about two minutes on this.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-42657531431937760522010-12-05T21:10:00.006-05:002010-12-05T23:28:14.691-05:00A Picture is Worth a Thousand Pennies Saved (which are pennies earned, of course)As I procrastinate at Union Square's Barnes and Noble, which is something I cannot afford to do, I am sitting next to a fellow who apparently has trouble affording things as well.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TPxe9DWoU9I/AAAAAAAAAq0/m40kTgUId3s/s1600/IMG_0167.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TPxe9DWoU9I/AAAAAAAAAq0/m40kTgUId3s/s200/IMG_0167.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Exhibit A: Prohibitively expensive materials</i>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>This guy is using his iPhone to photograph recipes in cookbooks that he won't buy, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, recipes really don't strike me as the best example of intellectual property, but this bistro burglar is just copying entire cookbooks wholesale. My mom occasionally photocopies a dish from a library cookbook (please don't tell on us), but she doesn't do it <i>at the library</i>. There's a pile of ten books and like four magazines here, and he's got every page! He's like The Pirate Bay of the kitchen.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TPxe_BbwVLI/AAAAAAAAAq4/uM2id7Gt-G0/s1600/IMG_0168.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_39izsY_oQW4/TPxe_BbwVLI/AAAAAAAAAq4/uM2id7Gt-G0/s200/IMG_0168.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Exhibit B: What a dirtbag!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>I assume that his name is Albert, because it's written on his coffee cup (but by that logic, his name could also be "Made with 60% post-consumer waste"-and oh man, that would be awesome). Just watch out for this guy, ladies, because when he offers to cook dinner for your first date, it's not just because he's got a stack of recipes, but also because he doesn't like to pay for stuff. He can't take you on a harbor cruise, but if you'd like, he's got a great picture of one on his iPhone.<br />
<br />
In a strange and coincidental turn of events, this is my first time blogging from my new iPod touch. I then took pictures of his stuff when he got up. That is almost ironic. Technology high five!<br />
<br />
<b>EXCITING FOLLOW-UP! </b>Turns out "Albert", or "Post-Consumer Waste" , is not only too cheap to buy things, but he left all of the books (and his trash) for someone else to clean up! Nice. Take that, B&N. Apparently, customer service is not just limited to customers. Before exiting, he checked out the Spirituality section (he'll need to redeem himself someday), the Newly Arrived section (in case there was something that he didn't get photos of last Sunday), and the Men's Interest section (too easy). I would have and should have called him out publically, and by name, too. Ideal Me would have done it. Goshdarn propriety.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-90929552531679482182010-11-23T22:16:00.002-05:002010-11-23T22:22:43.052-05:00Don't Be a FlakeOne thing that really, really aggravates me is when people say they would like to see you, even going as far as saying this date at this time, and then wait for you to call them so that they can tell you that they can't make it. I've had more people flake on me this year. This has literally happened more than real plans have gone through. No, I'm not being facetious. It's just getting ridiculous.<br />
<br />
If you say you're going to be somewhere, be there. Either that or you damn well have a better reason than "I'm tired" or "I forgot" or "I have to do this thing". You should be meeting with Nelson Mandela and The Situation on the moon if you're making me plan around you so you can blow me off.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-10021842117140178692010-11-20T11:09:00.002-05:002010-11-22T10:00:35.842-05:00Checking InI once wrote a very eloquent post about how most blog posts are <a href="http://ineedanothercoffee.blogspot.com/2010/03/dont-call-it-comeback.html">posts apologizing for the lack of posts</a>. I even successfully used <i>raison d'etre</i> in a sentence. You should go read it; you'd love it!<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mummVVrrMGpXPM:http://1stnews.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/rhode-island-changing-name.jpg&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="139" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mummVVrrMGpXPM:http://1stnews.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/rhode-island-changing-name.jpg&t=1" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shown: Approximate size of RI.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>This morning I find myself at a Starbucks in Providence, Rhode Island, a place where I have many memories, and a few nights without memories. I used to come to this particular shop to unwind before my work study job at a nearby museum, as well as to get some work done when I used to do adorable things like write papers about literature. Having woke up in Brooklyn this morning at 5 for a 7:10 bus out of Penn Station, Rhode Island at 10:30 strikes me as quaint in its littleness. It's like it thinks it's a state or something.<br />
<br />
None of these things matter to you, however, because you didn't come here for that. You came here hoping to find out why I haven't posted lately, and I don't blame you. Being a student teacher is hard. Parent teacher conferences, disciplinary actions, and grades are all hard enough, but painstakingly crafting original exams and watching your class bomb them in front of you after a month of study and two days of review might be the most discouraging thing ever.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:BKPVkMSVsgSmoM:http://k53.pbase.com/o4/84/49884/1/58348740.CoffeeCup.JPG&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="155" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:BKPVkMSVsgSmoM:http://k53.pbase.com/o4/84/49884/1/58348740.CoffeeCup.JPG&t=1" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hey, how do you feel about<br />
stock photos? I'm for 'em.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>At the very least, my 7th graders are killing it with vocabulary units and I couldn't be more jazzed. Gradually I've been able to appear as less square-ish of a teacher, which is exciting. Despite anything you've heard, most teachers <i>would</i>, in fact, like their students to think that they are cool, if all other things are equal. Sure, teachers aren't supposed to be their students' friends and there is work to be done. Still, holding back the perfectly timed joke is like looking at delicious red velvet cake without eating it.<br />
<br />
Ah, but I've wandered into things that no one cares about again. Coming back around to this blog, my blogging will probably pick up substantially in January, but in the meantime, it's a slow drip. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and please tell all of your female friends about me. I'm available and I'm a snappy dresser.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-50704123275970097242010-10-26T15:28:00.002-04:002010-10-26T15:38:26.357-04:00ResurfacingConfession: Student teaching has been kicking my butt. I don't know why I decided to take 13 credits of grad work, teach a 7th grade English class, and spend 30+ hours a week in the fine public schools of Brooklyn, but I did. I am legitimately amazed that I did not collapse during midterms last week (which coincided with all grades becoming due as well).<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="170" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7d/Pencil-db.jpg/800px-Pencil-db.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can now add captions for photos. That's pencilrific.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7d/Pencil-db.jpg/800px-Pencil-db.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>I suppose this is what I signed up for as an English Education major. Generally speaking, my time is spent teaching reading, reading about writing, and writing about teaching. I also collect present-tense verbs and gerunds.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm getting to the point. POINT: I will start blogging again soon. I have resurfaced after hell week and life is slowly returning to normal. Although I remain very busy, I will now have more opportunity to procrastinate without immediate and collosal negative repercussions. Besides, my class deserves a subsitute teacher and a VHS tape every now and then.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-14969219247938554892010-08-16T18:56:00.003-04:002010-08-16T19:00:38.128-04:00Adventures in Education, Chapter 20Friday, Summer Camp, 11:14pm<br />
Woodshop<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2b/Hammer.JPG/800px-Hammer.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2b/Hammer.JPG/800px-Hammer.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>Counselor DF: <span style="color: #666666;">"You might want to paint your names on the sides of your toolboxes, so you will know which one is yours when the paint dries."</span><br />
1st Grader: <span style="color: #666666;">"I wrote 'Tool'!"</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2259104512536169856.post-62370893301132918712010-08-14T23:21:00.001-04:002010-12-28T20:24:33.083-05:00Adventures in Education, Chapter 19Wednesday, Summer Camp, 4:02pm<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71Vo%2B6XlnxL._SL500_AA300_.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" ox="true" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71Vo%2B6XlnxL._SL500_AA300_.gif" width="200" /></a></div>Camper: <span style="color: #666666;">"I have a joke. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?"</span><br />
Counselor DF: <span style="color: #666666;">"I don't know."</span><br />
Camper: <span style="color: #666666;">"Because it died."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><b>ADDENDUM (12/28/10)</b>: This is still potentially my favorite joke ever. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1