An Open Letter to EMI/Capitol Records

Dear Sirs, Madams, and Others,

As the record company holding the recording rights of many of my favorite artists (The Beatles, Radiohead, McCartney, Harrison, Lennon, Starr, Nat King Cole, etc), I would like to point out how much of my money you have gotten from me for your products. I have everything the Beatles have released in the CD era, along with most of Radiohead's proper albums, two b-side compilations, and every extra b-side they've released for The Bends and OK Computer. As for Nat King Cole, you've released too many half-hearted compilations for me to keep track of them all. I have enough to compile my own definitive best-of, which you folks seem incapable of.

My usual beef, that Apple Records is taking way too f*cking long remastering the Beatles albums, is not necessarily your fault. Though you aren't helping by jumping in on every "new" Beatles release that comes out around Christmas each year that really just consists of rehashed stuff, usually from the less interesting Get Back sessions. I do enjoy these, especially the latest one, but I'd enjoy them more if the Rubber Soul CD didn't sound like someone copied it off of a cassette. They're only the most chronicled and best selling band in history, I think you could make the investment. Let's go already.

But back to matters that concern you and only you. After a 12 month process of going from "interested in Radiohead" to "oh my God, I need help. I listen to too much Radiohead!", I spent a considerable amount of time (and my brother's PepsiStuff points) to amass all of those b-sides. Finding the My Iron Lung EP at Newbury Comics (which was never released in the US) was a challenge, as was sorting through the many singles with one or two b-sides each. The quality of the songs was my reward, though, and it was a labor of love. You see, I'm not only a completist, I'm a bit of a record collector from the old school (and oh, the ladies are impressed). It was fun and the music was excellent.

Then, you kick me in the balls again. Since Radiohead famously went with the pay-what-you-want model in 2007 and realized they don't need you, you've been milking the cash cow of their back catalogue to the point of overkill. Last week, I find out that after all of my hard work, you're re-releasing the albums I just bought with all of the b-sides I so painstakingly tracked down.

I hate you, EMI. I really do. Especially because you and I both know that the moment you release the remastered Beatles albums (assuming you ever do), I will be among the first to replace all thirteen of them with big shiny new ones. And you'll probably be skimpy on the liner notes and bonus tracks. And I won't complain because I'll be too busy listening and potentially weeping tears of joy, like I'm hearing Revolver for the first time.

I'm glad that, while The Beatles aren't around to dick you over for milking schmucks like me for my every last dime, Radiohead left you and now streams all of their back catalogue for free for the next two years. You don't understand how much it hit me in the wallet to shell out $33 for the White Album in high school. Radiohead gets it, you don't. And oddly enough, even schmucks like me who will continue to buy every Christmas rehash you issue won't save you from being phased out of the music industry like the other major recording labels.