Britney: You know, I was listening to the radio in the car and I had this genius idea. It's totally our first single. I wrote it down and this is going to change the game.
Producer: W-Wait, really? Seriously? Well all right! Let's see what you've got.
Britney: Ok. I'm thinking a pulsing, mid-tempo, edgy dance number...
Producer: So far, so good...
Britney: ...and it's kind of a kiss-off to a player...
Producer: ...I'm liking it...
Britney: ...and I think I'm gonna call it "Womanizer", which goes along with the whole robotic dance sound. It's this word that I heard the other day and it really stuck with me, and I think it could mean a lot for girls today who are tired of being played.
Producer: Great!! Wow, this could be really something! Alright, step up to the mic and let's record some of this while it's still fresh!
Britney: Okay, here goes. [Singing] "Womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer oh, womanizer, womanizer you're a womanizer baby you you you are, you you you are, womanizer, womanizer, he's a womanizer she's a womanizer we're all womanizers Bob's a womanizer womanizer baby oh womanizer womanizer toxic womanizer wo-..."
Producer: Whoa Brit, whoa. Hang on a second.
Britney: What's the problem?
Bob the Custodian: Yeah, what's the problem?
Producer: It's just... aren't you just singing the word "womanizer" over and over again? Like, are there other lyrics?
Britney: There are other lyrics too! I just really like that word.
Producer: All right I just... I just think that if you're going to have a hit chorus, you need more than the same word over and over and over again, no?
Britney: Well I wasn't done yet, though! And I really think that today's girls will be able to identify with it.
Producer: Okay well, I don't know. We're on a tight schedule. We need a hit song done in like ten minutes.
Britney: Okay.
Producer: You don't have any other songs?
Britney: Well, I'm working on one that I think I'm going to call "1 2 3" or something and I'll namecheck beloved folk group Peter, Paul, and Mary as a euphamism for a threesome.
Producer: Uhhhhh yeah okay we'll go with "Womanizer". Just throw the word "swagger" in there somewhere and we should be good.
Setting: Some time later, Scotland
Alex Kapranos: Guys, let's cover this song. It'll be hilarious.
Franz Ferdinand:
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