Sunday, July 17, 2011

Paul McCartney at Yankee Stadium; Setlist and Video for 7/16/11

So I haven't posted in approximately forever, but you'll get over it. As I sometimes do, I am throwing up the setlist for another concert before I go to bed. Tonight's show was fantastic and I may blog about it later, but for now, here's what was played:

JULY 16, 2011

Magical Mystery Tour
All My Loving
Junior's Farm
Drive My Car
Sing The Changes
The Night Before
Let Me Roll It (w/"Foxey Lady" coda, written by Jimi Hendrix)
Paperback Writer
The Long and Winding Road
Let 'Em In
Maybe I'm Amazed
I'm Looking Through You
I Will
Here Today
Dance Tonight
Mrs. Vanderbilt
Eleanor Rigby
Something (written by George Harrison)
Band On The Run
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
Back in the U.S.S.R.
I've Got A Feeling
A Day In The Life w/Give Peace a Chance
Let It Be
Live and Let Die
Hey Jude

Encore I:
Lady Madonna
I Saw Her Standing There (featuring Billy Joel)
Get Back

Encore II:
Helter Skelter
Golden Slumbers
Carry That Weight
The End

All songs composed by John Lennon & Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney, or Paul & Linda McCartney, except "Sing the Changes" (McCartney/Youth), "Give Peace a Chance" (John Lennon), and where noted.

These aren't my seats (I wish) but here's some HD video:
Video shared by YouTube user BillyJoelVideos.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

...But Instead, We Get Skins

Everyone loves Twitter (except me, I suppose).  Everyone loves music videos.  Everyone loves trivia.  If all of this is true, then why hasn't Pop-Up Video made a comeback yet?

Where are you?

Monday, March 14, 2011

An Open Letter to the Dude Sitting in Front of Me at the Cafe

Dude!  Wake up!!  Ahhh.  You're bombing so hard.  If this is a first date, you're on strike #7 (note: not the "bowling" kind).  I want to boo you.  She's gorgeous.  Stop talking so much about yourself.  Ask her about her!

Photo unrelated.
What does she like doing?  How was her day?  What is her family doing now?  How is Uncle Herbert, that crazy guy?  If she could quit her job right now and run off somewhere, where would she go and what would she do?  If she could be a breakfast cereal, what breakfast cereal would she be (and why)?  Ask her about her favorite train.  Comment on the people outside the window and ask her where she thinks they are headed in such a hurry.  Ask her about her "Welcome to New York" moment.  She's got Amanda Seyfried eyes and all you can talk about is your dopey friend's last semester?  Gah.

If this were a LiveJournal, my song of the day would be "You're Gonna Lose That Girl" and my current mood would be "wicked frustrated".

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Ending Sentences With Prepositions is Seriously Uncalled For

Really, what's that about? It's a hard habit to get out of. Even worse: sometimes you meet someone who is finely attuned to this grammatical conversational error and--in case you couldn't guess--they are very difficult people to have a conversation with.

And don't even get me started when it comes to sentences that begin with conjunctions.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

An Ode to the Abandoned Tuxedo Pants I Found on the Sidewalk Today

Upon the occasion of discovering a pair of black tuxedo pants lying on the side of the road:

O Tuxedo Pants, quickly cast astrewn
Why hath thy master forsaken ye here?
A leg on the sidewalk, th'other the street--
Languished luxury lying listlessly.
A grievous offense could'st I not conceive
As fair cause for thy careless discarding
(If indeed such a sin slacks could commit).
Didst thou meet the pavement from an ill fit--
Too few or too many doughnuts consumed?
Didst thy get the toss in (dare I speak it)
A frightful and furious fit of lust?
Encounter with a lady of the night?
Sudden necessity to disrobe quick?
Swelt'ring heat promoting thy removal?
Truly? Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground.
Forgotten adjustable-waist trousers,
Smold'ring in the heat of the sunlit day,
Embrace thy strange rest; thou shalt strut no more--
'Less a de-pantsed gentlemen find thee here,
Praise his fortuitous turn, and get dressed.

Plants and Birds and Rocks and Things

One of my aunt's favorite stories comes from driving around with me in the front seat listening to the radio.  I was much younger then--probably about seven.  America's song "A Horse With No Name" was on the radio and we were talking about the lyrics.  After hearing the chorus, I asked her (with the utmost sincerity) why they didn't just give the horse a name.  She laughed and repeated the story to the rest of our family, who found my query equally comical.  The thing is, she still thinks that this is really, really funny for some reason.  Meanwhile, I'm still don't see why what I said was humorous, and I still don't understand why they didn't just give the horse a name and be done with it already.

What am I missing here?

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Adventures in Education, Chapter 21

First week on the job
Gr.6 tutor/substitute teacher

What I've attempted to teach:
Compare and Contrast
Author's purpose
Place values
Potential and Kinectic Energy
Commutative and Associative Properties
Separating fact from opinion

What I've been asked to clarify:
What happened to your lip?
What's a cleft lip?
Did it hurt?
Does it hurt now?
How many surgeries did you have?
Do you remember?
Wait, can you grow a mustache?
Would that hurt?
Do people ask you about it a lot?

Open Notes to Persons in and around a Park Slope Coffee Shop

Preface: This is the third installment in my Open Notes series, where I talk to people around me but on my blog because I lack the guts/interest/pickup lines necessary to actually converse with other people.

"Art of Unknown Origin Stolen for Blog"; Anonymous, Oil on Canvas, 1997
This evening, after a particularly erratic day of substitute teaching in Manhattan, I returned to lovely Brooklyn and strolled over to a distinctive coffee joint in the quaint yet eminently mockable neighborhood of Park Slope.  People here are known for being liberal, wealthy(ish), and trendy, and most residents struggle to hide their often overwhelming whiteness.  My neighborhood is no slouch, but this part of town is most certainly out of my price bracket.  Thus, while it may be a perfectly pleasant place to reside, it's easier and more self-assuring to ruthlessly rend it asunder with smug keystrokes while chuckling about how intellectually superior and more worldly I am.

To my roommate: Spot me a few bucks?  Cool.

To the chipper barista girl: You're adorable, but I really do think that your hat falls under the "trying too hard" category.  It probably looked stylish on the wooden rack at the second-hand store next to the other second-hand store where that better second-hand store used to be, but you don't need a hat indoors.  However, I have a long history of falling for waitresses and female bar staff, so I'm going to let it slide.

To Customer #7: Whoever told you that beard looked good was lying through their java-stained teeth.  When you trim the edges every morning for that perfectly symmetrical look, do you use a ruler?  A protractor, maybe?  Also, this morning routine must give you ample time to consider your beard at length.  Apparently, you still think it's worth it.

To the freeloading suit who walked in, sat down, went to work on his laptop, and didn't buy anything:  Don't worry about it. Wi-fi should be free. Hey, I'm sure you voted for universal public health care, too.

To literally four other customers who have entered since I started:  Please explain to me the appeal of offbeat hats and poor facial hair decisions.  Please.  I'm so lost.

To Customer #15:  You are cute.  Please look at me again now that I'm sitting up straight.

To Customer #15's boyfriend:  I will fight you right in the face.

To Rota Fortunae:  Why do girls go out with clowns like him?  What is it?  I see more girls hanging off the shoulder of slouchy, half-awake, vacant looking dudes who kind of just stand there consuming oxygen.  What are you contributing to the relationship, guy?  You look like the kind of person who hopes McDonald's makes home deliveries.  It's very perplexing.

To Wikipedia:  Whoa. "Rota Fortunae"?  Thanks, Wikipedia! I sound so cultured and smart.

To the insufferable mouthpiece behind me:  Keep talking.  I find it fascinating that you could "know" so much about so many things and yet state everything in the simplest terms possible. Call me crazy, but does it occur to you that most political issues and social science-related events are just a little bit more on the complex side? Listening to you explain it all--with scoffs to spare--is nauseating.  The groans!  The sighs!  If eye rolling made a sound, I'm pretty sure that I just heard it.  Were you planning on giving a chance to either of the ladies accompanying you?  They may want to speak at some point.  I know that you think that you're intelligent and sophisticated and miles ahead of the other lemmings you are forced to associate with, but there's a reason that some individuals become famous talk show hosts or essay writers while others sit in coffee shops pontificating.  You suck.

To the girl blogging two tables away: I have no idea what you're writing about, but I will preemptively propose a truce.

To whoever wrote this "How to Piss Off a Park Slope Resident" viral blog post:  Good show!

To the bro who almost walked in with his acoustic guitar:  No! Get out!! NO ONE LIKES YOU!! WHATEVER ARTIST YOU ASPIRE TO BE LIKE SUCKS, TOO!  Sorry about the caps.  Typed too hard again.

To management: Please play something other than Adele.  It's been like an hour and forty five minutes.  C'mon.

To the Mac user next to me:  You have literally nine applications running and you're flipping through them seamlessly; meanwhile, I attempted to open iTunes and my laptop reacted like I jammed a butter knife into the USB port.  This is stupid.  PCs are stupid.  Any computer I ever buy is stupid.

To my snarkier readers:  Not stupid by association.  Just stupid.

To the lower-middle-class, blue-collar local making a modest wage who came in and ordered a... nah, just kidding. He's not allowed to live here.

To the cafe business at large:  Why is decaf iced coffee impossible to find?  No one has it and I don't understand that.  If I wanted a decaf hot coffee, I would have made it at home. Decaf iced coffee isn't even hard to stock--just double brew a pot and refrigerate it.  It stays good for days!  There's no excuse, service industry.  Step it up.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Hey, How About A Real Post Already?


Continuing a theme of posting other people's stuff, this was my pick for most underrated Super Bowl commercial.  The attention to detail (which shows took place where, and which characters would root for them) is phenomenal, and whoever worked on the CGI deserves a raise.  For most of the clips, you can't even tell that the apparel was added in (except I believe the Seinfeld and Newman scene actually happened).

Very well done. However, the NFL will still be the No Fun League until creative touchdown celebrations like Maurice Jones-Drew's "ATM Withdrawal" and Wes Welker's "Snow Angel" aren't fined anymore.  The decision to fine a player should be determined by a one man panel of Shannon Sharpe, and should be strictly based on whether or not the celebration was funny.  I feel strongly about this.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

At Least It Wasn't "Ebony and Ivory"...

I don't watch the show, but I'm stunned that "Glee" could take "Silly Love Songs" to the top of the charts in 2011.  What a strange world we live in.