...But Instead, We Get Skins

Everyone loves Twitter (except me, I suppose).  Everyone loves music videos.  Everyone loves trivia.  If all of this is true, then why hasn't Pop-Up Video made a comeback yet?

Where are you?

Hey, How About A Real Post Already?

No.

Continuing a theme of posting other people's stuff, this was my pick for most underrated Super Bowl commercial.  The attention to detail (which shows took place where, and which characters would root for them) is phenomenal, and whoever worked on the CGI deserves a raise.  For most of the clips, you can't even tell that the apparel was added in (except I believe the Seinfeld and Newman scene actually happened).



Very well done. However, the NFL will still be the No Fun League until creative touchdown celebrations like Maurice Jones-Drew's "ATM Withdrawal" and Wes Welker's "Snow Angel" aren't fined anymore.  The decision to fine a player should be determined by a one man panel of Shannon Sharpe, and should be strictly based on whether or not the celebration was funny.  I feel strongly about this.

At Least It Wasn't "Ebony and Ivory"...

I don't watch the show, but I'm stunned that "Glee" could take "Silly Love Songs" to the top of the charts in 2011.  What a strange world we live in.

Another Home Run for SNL Digital Shorts

Dick in a Box, Part 2?

Andy Samburg and Justin Timberlake teamed up again this week, with cameos by Patricia Clarkson and a smokin' hot Susan Sarandon, to deliver yet another amazing, Color Me Badd-styled hit. This one's a pretty darn worthy sequel, too. Enjoy, if you're not easily offended. If you are easily offended, here's a cute picture of a bunny instead.

Free Music Wednesday

Okay, so we've determined no one cares when I deliver heartfelt, passionate music reviews, but based on the blog traffic, apparently heartfelt, passionate alerts for free music are always a hit. Fine, then. I'm nothing if not a populist.

Flight of the Conchords (whom many of you know best as the songwriters behind such Providence College Special Guest hits as "Business Time") have released their next batch of music for season two of their HBO show, Flight of the Conchords (I know, right? Where'd they get that name for their program?). Among those songs, there is one brilliant piece called "Hurt Feelings", and even though reading the title gives you the gist of the joke, it is still highly worth checking out. The song is funny, holds up very well to the best of their material so far, and is just a bit catchy.

And the mp3 from Amazon is free, so there's that, too.

I know several of you have been looking for a real entry the last few times you've surfed over. To this, I say... stop whining. It's unattractive and will lose you my respect in the end. You're already floating on thin ice when you ramble on about LOST for half of your existence and wonder why I don't blog about it. Don't push your luck. I just may stop hanging out with you (collectively) (verbally) (online). Damn freeloaders.

Real entry soon.

TV Review: American Idol, Season 8

So okay, the other day I found the remote, dusted off the screen and turned on the television set. Apparently, there's this show called American Idol... anybody heard about this? It's like a talent show but with a huge audience. Must be a mandatory school assembly or something.

Anyway the point of American Idol, as I gleaned from the lead-ins to commercial breaks, is to be the next American Idol. This is what the short man with the hair gel told me. Singers from around the country apparently wait all day at multiple casting calls for their approximate 1 in 1000 chance to be judged on national television while presenting what they feel is their best work. The best singers are told they're "going to Hollywood woooooo!" and the worst of the worst are also strung along and given false hope so they can be trotted out and mocked by an international audience.

Those who make it stay on the show to sing songs that were already adequately performed and recorded by professionals. It's sort of like karaoke, except people apparently listen and also most songs are not "Before He Cheats".

After their histrionic ballad or a sterilized rock song, they are reviewed on-the-spot by the panel, made up of four celebrity judges. The first is Randy Jackson, who played bass for bands without good bassists (like Journey) and who produced the hottest ticket in town, Randy Jackson's Music Club, Volume 1. He is there cause everyone likes to be called "dawg". Paula Abdul is there because she knows what it takes to make a hit, and for twenty years she has straight up foregone her own hit-making tips so as to selflessly leave more room on the charts for others. A fellow named Simon Cowell, whom you'll recognize as the producer of legendary recordings by Ultimate Kaos, Zig and Zag, WWF, and the Teletubbies, is there to tell us what is "dreadful". With a resume like his, you have to think he knows what he's talking about. Finally there is singer-songwriter Kara DioGuiardi, who is famous for being a judge on American Idol.

Rather than highlighting the best and praising the most dedicated and talented performers, American Idol takes the novel approach of focusing each episode on the "Bottom Three", where the host announces which three performers did the crappiest job this week. As the season rolls along, the show democratically allows the viewers to vote on who should stay, while each judge is aware that they can override what the stupid public thinks by saving a performer they like. The American Idol, I am led to believe, is the last singer standing on the show, and they are rewarded with a record contract. Folks who do not win can only aspire to be as successful as the likes of Jennifer Hudson, Katherine MacPhee, and Elliot Yamin.

At any rate, I hope the Celtics win tonight so I'll have something to talk about tomorrow.

U2 Week - Tuesday Update

U2's 12th studio album, No Line on the Horizon, is officially out today. I picked up my copy at Newbury Comics (a store totally worth supporting if you're in the Metro Boston area) and have played it through once. I'll go over my impressions of it in more detail tomorrow but so far I'm liking what I'm hearing. A few of the tracks are immediate, but it strikes me as the type of album that will grow on the listener over time. It seems like a lot of time and care went into this CD.

You might ask, is it imperative to get a CD on the day it comes out? No, but if you don't know me, one rather odd habit of mine is treating CD release dates of my favorite artists like the opening night of certain movies. I want to get it as soon as possible. I usually even bypass amazon.com and get a copy in person instead so I can have it in my hands. If this makes me strange, I'm okay with it. I rarely buy DVDs, I might go to the movies three times in a calendar year, and I haven't bought a video game since junior high school, so I feel like my generally obsessive desire to have a bitchin' CD collection is somewhat justified. Yes, I actually pay money for music by artists I care about. Shocking, I know.

U2 was on Letterman last night, as they are every night this week, and after shoveling out the sidewalk in front of the Ed Sullivan Theater (it's always fun to see rich people do mundane things in public), they performed "Breathe" from the new CD. Call me biased, but it was one of the more exciting late night performances I've seen in a while. Then again, talk show TV gigs are generally pretty bland. Bono got that audience pretty worked up, though. The man can work a room. Video below!



I apologize to all non-U2 fans for my blog posts this week. But not really. Album review tomorrow! Goodnight, y'all.

Stooper Bowl Recap

Well Super Bowl XLIII is in the books, and really it doesn't matter that the crappy Pittsburgh Steelers are now, officially, the owners of more Super Bowl championships than any other team. Whoop de doo. Did their kicker make the Pro Bowl? No. Go Pats.

But enough about that. The game was surprisingly exciting for a game I didn't really care about. I've heard Bruce Springsteen sound better musically, but I'd rather see an energetic performance like that one over a rock-by-numbers set like the Rolling Stones three years ago (memo to the Stones: you've done better). I enjoyed the set, rocky moments and all. In fact, it was awesome. I'll fight you if you disagree with me.

Okay, other than the game we did have a few good commercials. As usual, the laughs were too few and far between. The laugh-a-half-minute Super Bowl commercial sessions seem to have gone the way of "Buffalo Bills, Super Bowl Contender". Still, perhaps it's time to lower our expectations and instead enjoy these chestnuts. My top 5 commercials, in descending order.

#5.) Bridgestone Tires, Mr. Potato Head

Rhode Island's most famous tubers out for a drive. Although I predicted the outcome of this commercial, the payoff was no less amusing. Simple, but great.

#4.) Doritos, Crystal Ball

Stupid humor, but great stupid humor. I really didn't expect this one, but it made me laugh out loud.

#3.) Hulu, spokesperson Alec Baldwin

Honesty is always the best policy. In a way, it's refreshing and arguably more effective to market your product by putting down the product, the consumers, and the advertising process--instead of overstating the product's usefulness or desirability.

#2.) eTrade, talking baby with friends

After discussing this commercial series at length with the old man, I have to conclude that this commercial series cannot fail. Yes, in lesser hands this series could quickly get old, but it stands up so well because it goes beyond the "Oh, a talking baby, that's always funny" schtick. The writing is brilliant. Look at his face when he says, "It's not the venue." How disappointed in his friend is he? It's amazing. The one with his golf friend is not on Hulu cause it ran after the Steelers had already won (boo!) but was just as funny, maybe moreso. Outakes can be found here.

#1.) Teleflora, Flower Delivery

Wow. Just wow. It starts off being funny, and just gets funnier. I'm still in awe. I would not be surprised to find out that Mitch Hurwitz was behind this one. It's rare to find humor that uncomfortable in a national commercial.

Honorable mentions: Taco Bell's commercial where the man gets the girl's number was good for a laugh, as was the Troy Palomalu Mean Joe Green update. Pepsi Max's commercial was decent physical comedy. Finally, even though I don't like the SoBe Life Water commercials, many many many props to one of my favorite Patriots ever, Matt Light, for a fantastic national performance of his dancing chops. I should dedicate a whole post to him and how much he deserves a talk show when he retires.

There's a part of me that it hurts to say this, but I would have liked a Peyton Manning commercial this year. Great article in Sports Illustrated last week about why he's such a popular spokesman.

Okay, shakapotomuses, lest you need reminding, it is a Sunday night. Get to bed already. Pitchers and catchers report next Thursday.

The Sports Event of the Year!!

All right folks, stock up the fridge and put the Foreman Grill on! It's time to gather around the tube with friends, neighbors, and that awkward guy who invited himself and watch the football event of the year. It all comes down to this.

Now, I know what you're thinking. After the past five months, expectations for Super Bowl Sunday should be low. A lot of key people went down this year, and the future is a bit uncertain for many former contenders. Still, we can expect (or at least hope) that the big names will overcome the downers of late and deliver the goods.

Of course, I'm talking about the commercials.

The Super Bowl is like the Super Bowl of the advertising world. Much hoopla has been made about the $3 million price tag for a thirty second spot. For those MENSA candidates trying to do out the math at home, $3 mil for thirty seconds works out to a lot of money per second. Who's got that kind of money, especially in today's economy? But I covered the economy in the second paragraph.

No, I'm here to salute the companies that are coming through to deliver high comedy to us while shilling for their crappy products. First up, Miller High Life knows that the market on alcohol never fluctuates. If anything, demand for alcohol should go up in a recession, though this tends to heavily favor the hard liquor department. Nevertheless, the (presumably buzzed) brain trust over at MillerCoors realized that the message of their product and hilarious spokesman (a fake-life delivery guy named Windell Middlebrooks) would be compromised by shelling out three cool millions for a 30-second spot. Thus, they have taken one of the boldest approaches to Super Bowl advertising in recent memory.

They saved $2,900,000 and bought a one second ad.

Nice work. I was not even aware that you could negotiate on commercial length. I would have loved to have been there when Miller called NBC if they could run a commercial lasting 1/60th of a minute. I would love it even more if it was a drunk dial. Surf on over to the Miller High Life website and check out the commercials that didn't make the cut (my favorite: "One Mississippi!"), but only if you're 21. They have a very high tech age verification system that requires you to at least be old enough to subtract 21 from 2009.

This one second ad should drive home a point that many Super Bowl parties I have attended were not clear on. Namely, shut the hell up. You don't talk over the game, and you'd absolutely better not talk over the commercials. Halftime show talking rules vary by household and artist. Britney? Talk away. U2? I'll kill you.

While Miller High Life is making the big splash in the blogosphere (what a pretentious word), I personally cannot wait to see if E-trade continues the spots with the talking baby. That kid is gold. I want to see his girlfriend. And his portfolio.

I am off to get a haircut to look my best for the big game. Who knows how many ladies will click "Maybe Attending" on Facebook for my Super Bowl party? These good looks don't come without $12 haircuts, you know.