An Open Letter to the Dude Sitting in Front of Me at the Cafe

Dude!  Wake up!!  Ahhh.  You're bombing so hard.  If this is a first date, you're on strike #7 (note: not the "bowling" kind).  I want to boo you.  She's gorgeous.  Stop talking so much about yourself.  Ask her about her!

Photo unrelated.

What does she like doing?  How was her day?  What is her family doing now?  How is Uncle Herbert, that crazy guy?  If she could quit her job right now and run off somewhere, where would she go and what would she do?  If she could be a breakfast cereal, what breakfast cereal would she be (and why)?  Ask her about her favorite train.  Comment on the people outside the window and ask her where she thinks they are headed in such a hurry.  Ask her about her "Welcome to New York" moment.  She's got Amanda Seyfried eyes and all you can talk about is your dopey friend's last semester?  Gah.

Ack!

If this were a LiveJournal, my song of the day would be "You're Gonna Lose That Girl" and my current mood would be "wicked frustrated".