Times are tough, but we at Toyota would like to thank you for sticking with us! Sure, the reports are dire and getting worse every day, but you, the American Public, have once again stood by us and our superior brand name. Well, mostly.
At any rate, we're totally out of ideas (and even we're driving Hondas now), so to entice you to purchase any one of our fine products, please check out these offers!!
- All Priuses (Prii?) now come with jet brakes
- Innovative new Tuk-N-Rol in all Rav-4s
- All Camrys (Camries?) now upgraded to Corollas
- Drag racing rear parachutes installed in all Avalons
- All 4Runners equipped with escape Yarises
- Yarii?
- Tacoma now features bubble wrap exterior
- All Lexuses (Lexii?) now come with larger Christmas bows on the roof, to increase drag
- Every new Sienna comes standard with lifeboats, perfect for a roadside lake near you!
- All Tundras now include Mario Kart mode. It doesn't solve anything but we've always wanted to try it. Yoshi not included.
Thank you once again for your patronage! And for those of you pointing fingers, we now think the problem might be due to excess radiation in the southern part of our country. Yeah, I wonder whose fault that was.TOYOTA. Hey, at least we're not Chevy™.
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