An Attempt to Single Out My Huge Fan from Mountain View, California

Hello, Mountain View, California!!!!!

Many of you will wonder why I'm offering this salute to this quaint little village of 70,780.  As it turns out (and yes, I get statistics on such things), I've received quite a few hits from this town, which perhaps not coincidentally is where Google is based.  In an effort to find out if I have a stalker (and find out if said stalker is a gorgeous, 22-year-old brunette with brown eyes standing about 5'5"), I am reaching out to said creepshow who seems to be stalking my blog.

At any rate, hi.  My name is Dan.  I am impressed by your taste in comedic blog writing, since you've come to the greatest source for blog-o-comedy on the Internets.  For those of you who fall into a category I just created called "Not my stalker from Mountain View, California", you might be thinking: "Hey, this entry is irrelevant to me!!".  And you'd be right, except for the fact that this stalker that I may or may not have might in fact be my future wife, and thus an integral part of my blogging experience from 2013 onward.  I'm just saying.  If she is, I'd like to give her enough time to break into the world of hiLARious comedic blogging so she can be up to snuff when I have to introduce her to my mom.

And so, dear future wife from MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA, I am very happy to have artificially met you.  Please get in touch with me soon.  I'd be more than happy to leave my current girlfriend, "Beer".