Help Me Get Lunch, Friends

There is a restaurant nearby called Project Sandwich, and they are asking for sandwich submissions. You can see the list and vote or die here.

Naturally I am hungry and anticipate getting free food so please consider the issues, place a sign in your front lawn, and go vote for "The Upper-Middle Class Pilgrim"--the sandwich that is about to take Manhattan by storm, kind of like the rain just did.

"The Upper-Middle Class Pilgrim" Sandwich

1 Serving of Smoked Turkey

A Few Slices of Ham

Two Strips of Bacon

Cranberry Mustard

Served on Potato Bread

w/Cape Cod Potato Chips

Feel free to submit your own recipe as well, if you are looking to snag second place.  I really think that having my own sandwich will be the difference maker and I will finally have lots of friends.

Editor Checks In

So I haven't blogged in almost ten days and thought I'd drop by for a completely unfulfilling update.

Lots of things happening in my personal life. Really. I just choose not to blog about it, unless it is only to ruminate on the most mundane and trivial aspects of it. I prefer to post things that are slightly creative, possibly derivative, and utterly useless. I also enjoy matching adverbs to adjectives in at least a 1-to-1 ratio.

I was going to write a post about Fred the Turkey, one of South Easton's most famous ornery locals, but then I found out that he has a Facebook page (!) and 424 fans already. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised; hell, everything has a Facebook page now. "The Cool Side of the Pillow" has (several) pages. By the end of the month, "I Drive With Two Feet When Going Uphill In Traffic" and "Getting the Extra Cup for Dunkin' Iced Coffee, Even If It Now Costs 25 Cents Extra" will probably have pages.

I suppose it's just as well. I've already referenced Easton's wild turkeys in my blog before (as recently as a month ago) and Fred might be getting relocated soon due to his propensity for attacking motorcyclists and his documented habit of causing fender benders. What a guy.

Weekends and Odds

• Today at a red light, I saw a truck driver from a parked Bob's Discount Furniture delivery truck chasing one of our local wild turkeys through a gas station. Sure, he could have just called Animal Control, but I'd like to commend the dude from Bob's for cutting out the middleman (and passing on the savings to us).
• Speaking of South Easton's wild turkeys, they're starting to walk around like they own the place. I'm not sure I've ever seen an animal strut as much as they do. I was reading on the patio last week and the four that live in our woods came out and walked right by me like they were all that and a bag of chips. I think they need a reality check. I might start throwing mayonnaise at them.
• It hailed today. Hailed. Seriously, Mother Nature? Go sit on an upside-down stool.
• On the iTunes chart, Michael Jackson currently has eight of the top 10 songs, nine of the top 10 albums, and all ten top 10 music videos. According to Billboard, he could hit #1 on the album chart and pretty much hold the top 10. If not totally unprecedented, this could at least be one of the most dominant weeks of music sales for one artist in a very, very long time. But seriously, who pays for music anymore?
• I realize that the rush to praise the recently departed is generally way over the top and just short of sickening, but I'd like to point out the obvious--Billie Jean is an absofreakinlutely phenomenal song. Holy crap. Say what you want about the man, but if that isn't the perfect pop song, I don't know what is. If they had just released the bassline in 1982, I'm pretty sure it would've been #1 for weeks.
• Finally, I can honestly say I prefer Michael Bay's Verizon Wireless commercial to his Transformers 2. It's not even close.

That's all I've got, losers. Now hurry up, it's already 6:30! Time to go get dressed up and pregame so you can still come home alone tonight.