A Cheesy Fairytale

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there was a magical Lactaid Cow. Lactaid Cow was the young princess's very best friend, and he lived on the royal farm with all the other animals. He was a very special cow, but he often felt sad because he didn't fit in with the other cows. They were jealous of Lactaid Cow and would put him down just because he was different.

"Whoever heard of a Lactaid Cow? What a ridiculous animal you are," they would jeer. "Everyone knows that milk tastes better with lactose in it. Your milk isn't any good at all! You don't fit in here, Lactaid Cow!"

Lactaid Cow was hurt by how intolerant the other cows were. Their unkind words made his tummy hurt. Late one morning, holding his head low, he decided to leave the royal farm behind and head to the big city. He wandered for days and he was quite lonely.

Back on the farm, young Princess Butterface grew very sad and missed her friend tremendously. "Where do you think Lactaid Cow has gone?" she asked her mother. "I don't really know," said the Dairy Queen, "but I hope that wherever Lactaid Cow is, he knows how very special he is and how much he means to our family."

As the weeks went by, there was no sign of Lactaid Cow. This posed a serious problem, for young Princess Butterface had developed a debilitating case of flatulence. The villagers and countrymen of the kingdom all agreed that this was a very big problem indeed. It was agreed that Princess Butterface would need to give up her daily cheesecake and pizza bites, and switch to the far less satisfying treats made by their boring neighbor, the Soy Fairy. Of course, this made her miss Lactaid Cow even more.

The other cows realized their mistake and regretted their behavior. "I wish we hadn't been so unthoughtful to Lactaid Cow. Being different is important, and part of what makes us all unique! It's nothing to make fun of someone for," the cows lamented. "If Lactaid Cow was here, things sure would be a lot more pleasant!"

Just then, a familiar cowbell clang-a-langing rang out from over the hills. It was Lactaid Cow! He had returned for apparently no reason at all! The other cows rushed over to greet him and gave him a big hug. "We're so sorry for the way we treated you," they said, "but we're really glad that you're back. You're the best cow ever! Let's buy you an ice cream to celebrate!" Lactaid Cow milked their apology for all it was worth and ordered a triple scoop sundae with whipped cream.

Princess Butterface was overjoyed. "I can enjoy dairy again™!" she cried, waving her arms excitedly. "Thank you, Lactaid Cow!" She celebrated with three cheesecakes, four bowls of yogurt, two cups of pudding with whipped cream, and a milkshake. Most importantly, the princess would never have to settle for margarine again!

Everyone learned an important lesson that day: Instead of excluding those who are different, we should celebrate what makes us so unique and special! Also, lactose intolerant kids feel left out, like, all the time. Be nice to them and send out for sandwiches instead. Lactaid Cow, Princess Butterface, the Soy Fairy, and all of their friends lived happily ever after! The end.