Things I Learned While Cleaning My Room Today

My bank statements for the past four and a half years read something like this: Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Rocks Liquors, Dunkin Donuts, Dunkin Donuts, RIPTA, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Rocks Liquors, Café 412, Work-study Deposit ($7.40), Starbucks.

My free trial subscription to Sports Illustrated included the swimsuit issue. The writing this year was brilliant.

I potentially wasted $100 by sending my GRE scores to schools that I will probably never apply to.

I definitely wasted $60 by sending the application fee to a school I won’t be applying to.

We got a new vacuum cleaner months ago. I apparently just noticed.

I have literally dozens of mix CDs with lame titles like “Current Listening Mix”, “Connecticut Road Trip Mix”, “Crappy Oldies Mix”, “Classic Rock that Doesn’t Suck, Vol. II ”, and “ Kids Bop Motown”. That last one was for work, I swear.

What I lack in talent I more than make up for in bass cables.

The books and songs that I haven’t written are really, really great.

Ditto for unfinished term papers.

Today was the first day in four weeks that I haven’t had coffee. I also fell way short of my goal. That, folks, is what the scientific community calls “cause” and “effect”.

I have a book titled “Organizational Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder”. It was at the bottom of a pile on the floor.